Written by Rebut
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Topics: History, Nazi

Saturday, 25 September 2004

A panel comprising the Guardian Newspaper, Dan Rather and Michael Moore have pooled their resources in order to investigate the full history of the Bush family. This was initiated by Senator John Kerry who needs to act Swiftly following his victory in the Mendacious Cup Finals. This was held recently in Cambodia where Kerry swept all before him.

The Guardian landed the first blow with it's discovery that the President's grandfather Prescott Bush was once a director in a company, that had had it's assets siezed under the 'Trading with the enemy Act' in 1942.

If you read through the Guardian's expose it confirms, between the hype, that Prescott worked for a firm that acted as the US base for German industrialist Fritz Thyssen, who had acted as a financier for Hitler during the 30s before falling out with him at the end of that decade.

In other words George W's grandfather, worked for a firm, that was the U.S base for a German industrialist, that dealt with Hitler. I can see how that would really show up the president. I hope nobody has ever bought a German product, acted for a German client, visited Germany or had a relative going two generations back that did so.

Nobody can tell me that they knew in the 1930s which way this Nazi scourge was going to break. If they did, they certainly had a funny way of showing this insight. Government after government backed off which landed them in a war. If Prescott's firm was making huge money, then they were hardly going to rock the boat anymore than the governments of the day were doing.

Funniest part of this sick joke was that Hitler set it all out in Mein Kampf. Nobody believed him, it was all just crap. Osama bin Laden's teachings have also been set out before us. How many of our judges here today, despite what bin Laden says, are still condemning the pre-emptive actions of President Bush? Millions, I would suggest. More fool us!

But why stop at Prescott Bush, surely we have to go right through the history of the Bush family before we can rest? Best to start with Ol' Granpappy some 50 generations ago - "Burning Bush". A quick chat with Ol' Burning had my ancestors wandering around the desert for 40 years. Other than the Paris-Dakar Rally which came past every year, they confirmed that there was very little to reccommend this strech at all.

Going even further back to around 30 000 years ago, the Bush family were among the first from the Southern Hemisphere to trek North. Here Ol' Wideeyed and Bushy Tailed came accross Neanderthals living somewhere around Cambodia. Through a painting on a cave wall we have learned that "Bushy" lived with a Neanderthal family. The husband was "on duty" most of the time while his wife, whose father was a soup manufacturer, painted on the walls. The husband had a huge chin while the wife painted as some form of a rest tonic. It is believed that this was the first Chin and Tonic in history. It is what Bushy and Tonic did while Chin was on duty, that caused the resentment that survives to this day.

Of course it would be silly to leave our investigation into the Bush family there. We must go back to the very early days of the planet, to the Late Triassic Earth of around 220 million years ago. At the time all of the land was joined into a single mass known as Pangea. There were no mammals, birds or lizards, only lizad-like reptiles. (See Powells : Michael Moore the early years).

Plant life too was very different, with no trees or flowering plants. There was also no grass but rather ferns and moss. This was to prove very useful to Frenchmen who got lost there and needed to use the fern...but I digress.

Anyhow at this time of a single landmass, Dinosaurs, not through competing against other life-forms but by surviving extinction better than others, came to the fore. What caused this mass extinction in the Late Triassic? Palaeontologists believe that a great storm, created somewhere in the Bush, and overland for most of it's destructive journey, kept building and building. (Apparently there's a 224 million year old email which Dan Rather has in his possession and which CBS will be releasing on the net soon).

The storm is believed to have been the daddy of all Hurricanes and was styled "Nazi" by the Hurricane hunters of the time (this I'm extracting from Dan's email). Hurricane Nazi, which had come out of the Bush knew one path, one way and one direction only. It smashed it's way into an area which we today know as the State of Florida, U.S.A and destroyed every living thing in the area. Those sons-of--bitch Nazis never know when enough is enough!!

We conclude with a song composed by me (composed very badly mind you) : I'd rather vote for Kermit than for Kerry, yes I would, if I only could, I surely would..mmm mmm

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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