Doctors at Washington D.C.'s Joe Gibbs Memorial Hospital have said that the recent words and actions of NBC Newsman and commentator Keith Olbermann are the results of his being deprived of oxygen. These medical experts suggest that, in order to regain his rationality and good sense and ensure longer life, Olbermann immediately remove his head from Barack Obama's ass.
"Keith's got it wedged in their so tight that he has cut off the air flow," said Dr. Warren Spaulding. "Without sufficient oxygen, there is brain damage. If this continues, the brain will die. We are seeing this with Mr. Olbermann."
"I also believe that the fecal matter is interfering with both his vision and his speech, because he can't see crap in front of him and he's talking a lot of shit."
When asked about the situation, President Obama said "Keith is a good newsman who understands the need for and the process of change. Sure, it's a little tight getting my pants on in the morning with him there, and sometimes it is a little uncomfortable with his glasses, but I think that he's doing an admirable job."
Olbermann offered the following statement as to his current condition: "Sarah Palin is a flaming Glenn Beck Limbaugh. The Republicans are stupid if FoxNews doesn't Health Care reform Sean Hannity."
Fortunately, there are no signs of brain damage yet as Olbermann has always made that little sense.