Written by susan allen-rosario
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Topics: Terrorism

Friday, 8 January 2010

image for Senior tries to blow up pharmacy with bomb in depends
"I would have been successful too if I hadn't wet myself."

An angry senior citizen upset over her pharmacies refusal to accept Medicare-B Rx plan for her medications, tried to blow herself up in front of the pharmacy counter at her local Walgroin's store.

"I would have been successful too if I hadn't wet myself," Myrtle Olson, the would-be diaper-bomber told police.

Apparently the suspect was suffering from chronic urinary incontinence and when she attempted to detonate the bomb… it was too wet to ignite. Myrtle then explained to officers how she learned to build a bomb on the Internet, which she accessed at the senior center near her home.

"I got the idea from that fella that tried to blow up that there aeroplane the other day."

Using last years fireworks and an old pacemaker powered by a hearing aide battery, Myrtle made the bomb and then sewed it on to the inside lining of her depends.

"That pacemaker was the only thing my ex-husband left me and the damn thing worked about as well as he did."

Myrtle was arrested and sent to a local hospital for a mental evaluation. "She was as mad as a wet hen and pissed-off, literally.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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