New York - Tiger Woods is rumoured to be starring in Avatar II: Revenge Of The Pink Demented X Girlfriends.
In the movie, a deranged ex-PGA Pro (Tiger Woods) is dispatched to the moon Hiltonora and on a unique mission becomes torn between following his orders from the evil NIKE Empiress Elouize Nordegren, played by Lindsay Lohan, and protecting what's left of his gonads from his ex-girl friends, all played by Paris Hilton via some incredible special effects.
"I want to make it clear that this movie was totally approved by my abhor...I mean adoring wife and family." said Woods today at a press conference. "I am giving all proceeds to my wife's favorite charity, 'The Kill a Golfer for Christ's Sake Foundation.'"
The plot is still a little vague, but apparently Woods wins over the ex-girl friends by giving them free golf lessons and offering liberal use of his putter. He then leads an attack on the evil temptress Lindsay Lohan where he says the word "no" or "no thank you please" at least 500 times.