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Wednesday, 6 January 2010

image for Upset Amnesiac Reveals "I Thought I'd Married A Virgin, But Found Out She'd Been Sleeping With Me For Three Years"
He'd have never married her if he'd known she was a slut.

Donald Riverton is upset and seeking counseling for a unique situation. The 24 year old school teacher, who is a recovering amnesiac and a school teacher in the Clark County school system, says that he thought he was marrying a girl who was pure and chaste and that she deceived him.

"When I first met Joan, I was a junior at the University and she was a freshman. She was so sweet and chaste and said that she was a virgin. It was love at first site."

Riverton suffered a near fatal accident three years later that robbed him of his memories of the previous thirty-six months. "All of my knowledge of my senior year and my first years of teaching are gone," he said. "I only have my paperwork and what people tell me happened to know the truth."

On his way home from the hospital after the accident, Donald and his girlfriend decided to elope. "I remembered her and the intense love I felt, and she was so good to me with my treatments in the hospital. I knew that I wanted to spend my life with her and thought that our honeymoon would be the consummation of our love and her first sexual experience."

After the honeymoon, however, he learned the truth. "She took me back to my apartment. I asked her when we were going to go to her parents house and get her things, but she told me that they were already there. I took this to mean that her parents had delivered her stuff while we were in Hawaii, but this was not the case."

Riverton learned that, during his time of memory loss, his then girlfriend had moved in with him and that they had lived together.

"All of it is a lie. Everything that she ever told me was a lie. I thought that she was a virgin, but then I discovered that she had been sleeping with me for three years! I never would have married her if I'd known she was a slut."

Riverton seeks an annulment or divorce of their short marraige on the grounds of dishonesty and infidelity.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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