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Wednesday, 6 January 2010

image for Women Upset At Men Administering New TSA Security Screening
"Flat chested and had pizza fer lunch," said Bubba

The new security screening device being tested by the T.S.A. has come under fire for the lack of privacy and for the intensity of the scan. The machine sees through clothing and can reveal intimate parts of a person's anatomy or undergarments.

Women at the Monroe, Louisiana airport recently contacted the F.A.A. and Department of Homeland Security after they felt sexually harrassed by the men operating the new scan machine.

The complaint said that, as they would walk through the machine, the men operating it would respond with words like "thong and full Brazilian" or "granny panties and full patch." Another worker to the side would look at and read size tags on the brassieres, responding with things like "36B and silver dollars", "32A and still padded", or
"40D with implants."

Ms. Candice Tuttlebaum of Elkmont, Oklahoma, who was "bikini and neatly trimmed" and "probably B, braless and perky" was upset by the experience. "This is invasive and violates my privacy. It's worse than when the boys used to buy those x-ray glasses from the comic books and ogle the girls when we were twelve. Those men should be fired!"

The men in question, Bubba and Leroy (last names withheld on account of they couldn't spell them) said that they were just having fun and enjoying their jobs. They did make a statement, however, that "we're waitin' fer some cheerleaders to come to town. When that happens, we's takin' pictures too."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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