Written by Jalapenoman
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Wednesday, 6 January 2010

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Still no birth certificate, even after turning the islands upside down

An anonymous White House staffer named Rex Stubble, speaking on conditions of anonymity, said that Barack Obama's Christmas Hawaiian vacation's main purpose was to attempt to find or create a birth certificate. The President has apparently been searching fruitlessly for two years to discover where he was born or to forge a document proving that he was born in Hawaii.

"POTUS thought that if he went to Hawaii himself, he could go to the different hospitals and find something. He though that he could encourage Democratic Party officials in the state to help him in this cause so that he could prove his citizenship, regardless of what his relatives say."

An aunt of the President maintained until her death that she was present at his birth in Kenya. Interestingly, all other relatives who once said that he was born in Kenya have been quiet since she died.

Obama was also apparently unable to obtain a good enough forger to create him a birth certificate. "I suggested that he go to a high school and get a kid," said our source. "I mean, these kids change their report cards and all have a fake ID, so how hard is a birth certificate? His daughters probably know someone who could do this, but he won't listen to my idea."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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