Osama Bin Laden is likely to start his campaign for the US presidential candidate and long time friend Mr Bush later this week, according to our reliable source.
Mr Bush who is contesting for his re-election summoned Osama at his resident last week for a High School re-union party. An unidentified source who was present there at the party told his wife who later told her co-worker, who then told his husband and best friend, who later passed it on to a waiter at a snack bar, who then passed it on to her boyfriend who also happens to be our correspondent.
Observers reached to a consensus that this move will surely give Mr Bush a huge chance of getting re-elected and to fight terrorism to a higher degree with Osama on his side. "We can look forward to a second plane crash in one of the tall buildings across America", says a media source. "He is right," says a big government official. "He'll be back," says Arnold, the new governor of the most unluckiest state in US.
"Osama is the widest known name in the world post-WTC crash, second only to me and Jesus. I'll be looking forward to leverage his fame, that's why I told him to crash on the WTC to make himself popular and to cover my footprints, create reasons capturing Sadam" said Bush. This man sure knows this time was coming. Looks like its one of the best laid plans in the history of America.
Kerry's reaction is still not clear. Will he be turning to Saddam? That's a possibility. "I can either ask Saddam or Michael Jackson to do my campaigns, but let Britney Spear's tenth and final rejection come," remarked Kerry. Kerry has also considered stripping, posing nude for playgirl and turning gay. But his wife and kids managed to stop him by threatening him. His family told him that they'll vote for Bush if he does anyone of those three options of stripping, posing nude for playgirl or turning gay. "He should concentrate on the election and getting elected for the time being, and he can go and humiliate himself and the nation after getting elected, like Clinton did," said his wife.