Written by Bureau
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Topics: Health, School

Monday, 4 January 2010

image for Retired Doctors Offer Free Help To Teens For Social Diseases

Two retired physicians from the state of Minnesota, Dr. Jonathon Meyer and Doctor Jane Stewart are visiting high schools in the United States to talk to teens about offering them free services if they get social diseases.

"Before you get to the screaming stage when you pee", stated Dr. Stewart, "Call that number on the card and we will try to get you some help from local specialists. If under 18, you'll need to have your parents sign for permission to treat you."

Dr. Stewart then stated that the disease will never be completely out of your system and that you will probably be on medication for the rest of your life, but at least you won't be broke too.

"Also", stated Doctor Meyer, "You will probably not be able to have children or they could be deformed in some way or another."

Both stated that they cannot promise the student that they wouldn't lose their hair. Some do fine and some lose it. Some keep it but it's kind of like plastic as it stretches and snaps.

"One last bit of information, don't let it go too long before getting help or you guys may have to have your tool removed."

In closing, they both stated that you would not necessarily have to have your penis removed. You could just avoid the doctor altogether and it will soon fall off by itself.

So far, social disease rates and teenage pregnancies have fallen nearly 50% after the doctors visits.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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