Popular actor William Shatner was arrested on two charges this morning at the Los Angeles Airport by the Bathroom Police after spending more than 45 minutes in there.
"The Governor, Mr. Schwarzenegger, told us to arrest anybody who stayed in the bathroom over thirty minutes after that Larry Craig thing", stated Officer Herman Stahl. "So I had grounds to arrest Mr. Shatner, even though I used to love that Star Trek show he was on."
Witnesses at the airport stated that Shatner threw such a fit that he caused two others to get charged with the same offense because they were afraid to come out thinking there was a terrorist attack going on.
"I had to get help from security", stated Stall. "He cut up pretty rough and when I charged him a second time, he lost it...the hairpiece I mean. It fell on the floor just as some passengers came by in a hurry and kicked it somewhere. So there he stood bald as an eagle, threatening to sue us and everybody that came by and laughed."
When asked what the second charge was for, Stahl answered. "Well, he was claiming that he needed 45 minutes to get ready to meet the public and he hurried there at the end and, checking his laptop before leaving the bathroom stall to see where he needed to go next, he forgot to log off."
"It was, so he left here bald, toilet paper hanging from his pants and he also left a 'present' on the floor as the ladies say about their babies."
"Guess that was the 'Captain's Log'. hee hee!"