Written by AlexGoneWild
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Topics: Family, Banana

Saturday, 2 January 2010

Harlingen area resident, Christopher Baker continues to wonder why the supply of bananas he bought a week ago have gone uneaten.

"I don't buy a lot, like four or five at the most", Baker commented. "You would think that someone in this house would eat at least one or something, but they haven't been touched."

And this is not the first time that bananas have gone uneaten in the Baker household.

"The last time I bought bananas the same thing happened. I suppose I should have figured it out by now", Baker said during a telephone interview. Subtle prodding has gotten him nowhere either.

"Just the other day I pleaded with the kids to eat just one, you know because they are healthy and have vitamins and all that noise. Did they bother? No."

The children's mother seems equally as disinterested: "I even asked my wife to help me out before I went to work, cut some up in the kid's cereal or something. I came home later in the day and they were still there. I almost freaked right there in the kitchen."

Baker confided that he is nearing the end of his rope: "I just don't know what to do any more. I just can't understand why they won't eat at least one. Now they are all brown and whatever and no one will eat them at this point. So I'm out like, seventy cents."

Baker later confirmed that if the bananas are still on the counter in a few days, he'll throw them out.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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