After a trip to the local Dollar Tree, area shopper Christopher Baker was crushed to discover that the 64 oz bottle of new car smell spray he purchased for exactly one dollar failed to live up to his high expectations.
"All I can say is that it says New Car Smell", Baker said. "This is a complete rip off. If anything it smells like a vagrant used my vehicle for a toilet."
Baker initially ventured to the retailer known for its seemingly great values to obtain discount items like cheap picture frames, poorly made beach toys and expired lead-laced breakfast cereals but was captivated when he saw the huge bottles of new car smell spray neatly arranged on a promotional end cap.
"It was like beckoning to me, telling me that my car could be new again for only a dollar. I couldn't say no", Baker said.
Upon concluding his business, Baker then whisked his purchases back to his residence where he immediately cracked open the first of twelve bottles of the spray.
"As I began to coat the interior of my car I noticed that something was wrong."
What was wrong was that the liquid began to smoke as it came in contact with the seats and gave off a putrid stench the likes of which Baker could not describe in the slightest.
"It was like being wrapped in a nightmare from which there is no awakening," Baker recalled. "My eldest daughter Christine witnessed what followed and I can only say that for my part, I am so sorry she is going to have to carry the memory of that day with her for the remainder of her life."
Since that day, some of the lingering effects have begun to subside albeit very slowly. "We can drive the car again with the windows down at least," Baker said. "And the green glow that the interior emits is kind of cool at night. At least I don't have to worry if my dome light goes out."
When approached for comment, employees and management for The Dollar Tree refused to make a statement and directed all inquiries to the Nuclear Regulatory Commission.