Written by AlexGoneWild
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Topics: Satan, Family, pets

Saturday, 2 January 2010

The Baker family of Harlingen has a new pet and experts are speculating that it may be possessed by the Devil. 'Ginny', an otherwise unremarkable guinea pig was recently acquired by the family's matriarch, Adriana Baker from the wife of a principal in the school district where she works.

"She seemed normal at the time I picked her up", Baker says. "But after we got her home strange things began to happen."

According to Baker, mysterious "scratching noises" could be heard coming from the vicinity of the animal's cage as well as even more bizarre "squeaking."

Area parapsychologist Dr. Hilario Martinez was consulted by the family to investigate after the Baker's daughters, Christine and Caroline reported feeling "creeped out" at the guinea pig's red eyes and hearing voices in their heads telling them to 'do things'.

"After a brief investigation, it is apparent that this animal is indeed possessed by the devil", Martinez' report concludes. "How else can you explain those claws?"

"Caroline and Christine seem to like her", the girls' father Christopher Baker noted. "We have yet to witness any soul-devouring activities."

With that the family did say that they were going to monitor the behavior of the pet regularly.

"If I hear her start speaking in tongues, she's out of here", Baker said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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