Written by Helen Tarnation
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Friday, 1 January 2010

image for Obama under pressure to grant clemency to Underwear Bomber
'Let's just all get along', say ministers. Though you have to imagine pigs of a different color. And not pork either

US President Barack Obama is coming under increasing pressure to grant clemency to Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, known as the Underwear Bomber.

In the course of attempting to blow up an Northwest Airlines flight from Amsterdam to Detroit, Abdulmutallab, 23, reduced his pants to a smoking ruin instead.

'Abdulmutallab, and Obama, and I, are all black in our hearts', said Hal Harpton, a minister famous for his exploits in 1987 involving a 15-year old girl and dog feces. 'We need to show support and solidarity.'

Messe Hackson, a minister famous for cheating on his wife and using charity funds to support his mistress and illegitimate child, said that African-Americans should stand together.

'Once Abdullatullamab came to our shores to escape the cruelty and oppression, I mean, to fight US cruelty and oppression, he became an African-American', Hackson said. 'He deserves special treatment.'

Huey Farakkan, black leader of the US Muslim movement famed for demanding the death of all Jews, whites, homosexuals, people controlling Hollywood, the media, the government, and all miscellaneous 'bloodsuckers', also asked for clemency.

'He (Abuladullamutallba) is not a Jew", Farakkan pointed out. 'He's not white, and he doesn't control Hollywood. He's staying away from the media. He's not with the government, and has never been seen sucking blood. Furthermore, with his genitals totally fried, he couldn't be homosexual, even if he wanted to.'

All these devout religious leaders joined in asking that the Underwear Bomber's charges be reduced to 'smoking on an airplane'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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