Written by BCBass
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Thursday, 31 December 2009

image for Arizona Hunters Lost in Wilderness Searching for John McCain's House

A massive search is underway for 25 to 30 hunters stranded in sub-freezing conditions somewhere in the northern Arizona wilderness.

Rescue teams from the Coconino County Sheriff's Department and other agencies have canvassed the region in hopes of finding the hunters, but heavy snow storms have delayed efforts.

Jim Driscol, a spokesman for the sheriff's office, told reporters that priority will be to retrieve hunters who are low on food and heating fuel, and to get to them before the next storm system hits, possibly this weekend.

The hunters were invited to stay at one of Senator John McCain's many Arizona homes. Unfortunately, Sen. McCain could neither remember how many homes he actually owned nor their addresses. After receiving one desperate cell phone call from a hunter who managed to get a single bar of reception, McCain said, "I think - I'll have my staff get to you." After the hunter emphasized that the party was trapped and may have to resort to cannibalism to survive, McCain again told the caller, "I'll have them get to you."

On Monday, another elk hunter was killed when high winds caused a 70-foot pine tree to fall onto the tent in which he was sleeping. All in all, it has been a bad week for elk hunters but an incredibly good week for elk. PETA representatives became giddy when hearing of the news.

In a related story, several of Senator McCain's staffers have undertaken a statewide search for at least four of his missing properties.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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