Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, who is alleged to have tried to blow up a Northwest Airlines flight from Amsterdam to Detroit on Christmas Day, has been abducted from a Las Vegas casino.
'We thought that a Las Vegas casino was the most secure location for Ahmatotalbulletjob', said a law enforcement spokesperson. 'But they snatched him out the laundry.'
Local police believe they know how the abduction was accomplished.
'Ahmalabbatullah is a towel-head', said Boojum 'Boo' Snark of the local constabulary. 'It would be easy to conceal him in a load of laundry.'
When news of Abdulmutallab's abduction was released, a number of countries offered to pay ransom for his return.
'We offer 20 million shibboleths for Ahmamuttandanutcase', said Abu ben Samir ben Ramallah ah Jibouti, known as Sheikh Jibouti.
An unknown source said that citizens of Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, would offer amnesty to Abdulmutallab.
'Abudulemaballamamab will be safe with us', the source said.
Casino officials were not happy with the result.
'It seems that the Somali Pirates sequestered $10 million in gold bullion in Abufilimbmilards' underwear during the heist', said the manager of the Platinum Racket.
'I hear this guy could hide Tiger Woods in his underwear and get away with it.'