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Tuesday, 29 December 2009

image for Brad Pitt becomes TSA Airport Inspector; Women line up for cavity searches
Hillary Clinton smiles for the cameras prior to submittiing to a body cavity search by TSA Inspector Brad Pitt

WASHINGTON, D.C. (ABSNN) -- Actor Brad Pitt shocked the entertainment world Tuesday when he announced he was retiring from films in order to become a Transportation Safety Administration airport guard.

"In times such as these, it is incumbent upon the movie industry to do its part in keeping airliners safe from terrorists," said Pitt through a spokesperson.

The announcement caused longer than usual lines on Pitt's first shift at LAX. Thousands of women, including ex-wife Jennifer Anniston, lined up for body cavity searches instead of the usual xray and metal detectors.

Hundreds of the women had no tickets to fly anywhere at all adding to the confusion.

Pitt handled the pressure well and his supervisor gave him high marks for his "stamina and personal approach."

A tired but satisfied Pitt left the airport at 9:00 p.m., having pulled a double shift. He is due back at 5:00 a.m. to conduct a body search of Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi and Sarah Palin, most of whom are not subjected to these searches.

"We're no better than anybody else," said the First Lady.

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