Written by Rebut
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Tuesday, 14 September 2004

image for Dr Phil McGraw Southpaw
6 years for robbery, can you believe it?

Oprah Winfrey is one of life's real angels and presents a smash-hit television show. She does however have one area that has always baffled me. Why does she always have that genius Dr Fill McColeslaw on the show? Maybe she needs someone as a Filler....what is that?

Have a look at his latest book : "Self Matters : Creating your life from the inside out". I looked it up on Amazon where they have a section - "Customers who bought this book also bought". Then they list them :

1. The real killer by OJ Simpson (search for the inner me). 2. Cambodia on $5 a day by J Kerry 3. Who will rid me of this leech? by Dr Hans Waldheim missionary in Cambodia. 4. Fishing, Fertiliser and Finishing the bitch by S Peterson 5. So Far in Height I'm 6ft 7in but I'm 8 feet accross by M Moore (polemic)

Which goes to show how demented you'd have to be to follow the teachings of McStraw. Imagine then reading the reviews of the brain donors who follow the "teachings" of the good doctor. For example this one :

"Having recently been jailed for 6 months for beating up my girlfriend with an alligator I settled down to read this book by Dr Phil. It was amazing, waffling on and on about self-help. Subsequently I'm doing 6 years for robbery."

What about this review from a Mrs J Kerry? :

"Dr Phil is brilliant. I was ketching up on my reading when I noticed this little gem next to the OJ Simpson book on sale at Powells. I wasn't sorry I took it after reading this little snippet : "I'll bet 90-plus percent spent months, or even years, planning their wedding and almost no time planning their marriage". I nearly cried into my tomato soup (new recipe without all the salt - try it). It was so real, so full of incite, the depth of the author so apparent. Anyhow I have to run my genius has just dropped another clanger but nice nice book. If you want something with excitement get the one by the missionary in Cambodia...

And finally, if the first two reviews weren't enough :

Dr Phil has changed my life. I was a mundane multi- millionaire who used to wake up late, go to the hairdresser, eat lunch, visit the ladies club, walk the dog in the garden before eating supper with my husband. Then we'd watch television in bed and go to sleep. Other than my 8 holidays a year it was all dull routine. THEN I DISCOVERED DR PHIL! I got rid of everything including my husband with the money. Now I was free to be whatever I wanted to be which turned out to be penniless and starving. If you offered me all my tommorows for just one thing, it would have to be one square meal. Hell I'm sick of rummaging through garbage cans.

Oprah, a wonderful girl like you must be more careful who you associate with. Carry on like this and the only people who'll be interested will bring their alligator with them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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