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Topics: Penis, axe, John Bobbit

Monday, 28 December 2009

image for Exhumation Reveals Carrie Nation's Husband Was "Bobbitized"
The murder weapon is shown by a police spokesman

An exhumation of Donald Nation, the late husband of turn of the century Prohibition pioneer Carrie Nation, has revealed that he died due to blood loss from a severed penis. Carrie Nation is best remembered for taking a hatchet into bars and saloons and destroying the alchohol and facilities.

The body of Mr. Nation was dug up due to inconsistencies discovered by a Philadelphia Cold Case unit. An audit of their files revealed that the investigation into the death of Nation was never closed and that the murder weapon had not been recovered.

Detective Lilly Rush revealed to reporters that the hatchet, which was mounted in a local museum, contained traces of blood and was consistant with the hack marks on the stump of the severed penis (the actual penis was not recovered).

Donald Nation now replaces John Bobbit as the first celebrity to have his "manhood" removed by his wife. Writers for the Webster's Dictionary have, therefore, decided to delete the word "bobbitized" from future editions. Instead, having your penis cut off will no be referred to as being "Nationalized."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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