Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 26 December 2009

image for California sperm bank dumps Tiger Woods lookalike donors
A 'quickie' payoff has seen a Tiger Woods lookalike retired from the agency's books

Los Angeles, California - (HumpDump): An LA fertility clinic offering sperm from donors resembling celebrities has prematurely withdrawn its "Tiger Woods' lookalike facilities.

California Crybabybank sources said today recent controversy surrounding the top golfer had seen a doppelganger client's sperm value plummet in popularity.

Their top African American lookalike donor now is said to be a Sheboygan hairdresser who is a dead ringer for President Barack Obama.

The 'Woodsman' has now been retired off the agency's books after a 'quickie' payoff in lieu conract cancellation.

Also removed from the sperm bank's suppository - er, depository! - is a lookalike David Beckham's offerings following a massive depletion in the footballer's popularity.

Top of the pops are Ben Affleck lookalikes, Tom Cruise, Bill Gates, Quentin Tarantino, Brazilian footballer Ronaldo and The Incredible Hulk's Lou Ferrigno.

Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Tom Hanks doppelgangers are still pulling in the top punters wanting impregnantion by headlining celebs.

Sperm of a donor resembling Gladiator star Russell Crowe is still the priciest starting at $5,000 a pop.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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