Written by Alexandria177
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Topics: Hollywood, Holocaust

Thursday, 24 December 2009

image for Least holocaust covered, now others will be
"He's been done enough, now it's King Leopold's turn!"

Hollywood - Having spent near seventy years producing Holocaust films about six million Jews being killed by the Nazis, Hollywood movie makers are now going to move on to other Holocausts. The larger ones.

"We wanted to get the smallest Holocaust out of the way first.", said producer Saul Goldstein. "As Hitler only killed six million, we started there, and only made about a dozen movies about it. A dozen per year, that is."

Saul is refering to the fact that most Holocausts involve numbers in the tens of millions, not mere millions. Such as the Congo Holocaust where 10 million plus blacks were killed by the Belgians. Or the Soviet Holocaust, where 50 million were killed. Or the Holocaust by Mao Tse Dong, where some say 100 million were killed.

"And actually," said Saul, "There was the Native North, Central and South American Holocaust that killed several tens of millions of Natives. We may do that one next. Then work our way up to the really big ones."

Given how Hollywood has treated the smallest Holocaust, mathemeticians figure that they'll now spend 100 years on the Native Holocaust, then two centuries on the Belgian Congo one, then half a millenium of constant movies, documentaries and made for TV specials on the Soviet one.

"After that, who knows?", said Saul. "We'd like to give the Chinese Holocaust the equivalent treatment, but that would involve 100 movies a day for a thousand years!"

After all that, assuming the human race lives to see it, Hollywood plans to cover smaller Holocausts again. "I see wonderful possibilities for movies about the Midianite Holocaust!", said Saul. "A rousing ancient tale in which a band of plucky nomads killed every man, woman and child of an entire ethnic group except for the virgin girls! Then stole their land and property, raped the underage girls, and made them bear them children who they raised to worship a different God! Made the Nazis look like lambs!"

Movies and coverage of the Palestinian Holocaust will probably be done last. Say around the year 4009. "That one we want to be special.", said Saul. "So we should really wait till it's finished, say around 2050. But we'll need the extra millenia to make sure none pop back up."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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