Miami, Fl-- An incredibly potent arctic blizzard with sub-zero temperatures and 500mph winds has targeted Miami and all of South Florida. Over 800 feet of snow is expected to fall during the day. Scientists say Global Warming is to blame.
The temperature at dawn today at Miami International Airport was 80 degrees. Unfortunately, it was 80 degrees below zero. Midday temperatures are expected to drop significantly.
Climate scientists at Pencilvania State College say only one thing is to blame--Global Warming.
"You need to know the difference between climate and weather." lisped meteorologist Michell Manuel. "Everybody knows it's from all the carbon dioxide that you useless eaters create!" lisped the freak. "How many times do you have to be told to just drop dead!" whined the ignorant watermelon. (Green on the outside, Red on the inside).
The algore wanted to pontificate further on the unusual weather from his Tennessee home. Unfortunately, a 10-mile thick glacier was covering his house. The glacier is expected to melt sometime in the next 10,000 years.
"The world is freezing because of Global Warming, and it's all George Bush's fault. And Sarah Palin's!" screeched the algore, just before the glacier ground him to dust.