Written by Gordo Plenty
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Sunday, 20 December 2009

image for Rachel Uchitel: 'Size Does Matter!'
Part of Rachel Uchitel reason for size making a difference

Heddinghausen, Germany - Rachel Uchitel, in an exclusive interview, let it be known that size does matter.

'If a woman says that size doesn't matter, her boyfriend or husband has a teeny weenie. Size is very important', she said when asked about her attraction to Mr. Woods.

'I have to admit, he is rather tiny, about like a 10 year old boy', she admitted sheepishly during the interview. 'But, hey, his bank account is huge, and like I said, size does matter. You can overlook anything as long as there is green to back it up.'

When asked about Theresa Rogers assertions about a skin abnormality in Mr. Woods groin area, she looked rather embarrassed.

'Yeah, its true. I didn't know it was weird though. He said it was because of his British heritage. He said they all liked spotted dick.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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