Written by Helen Tarnation
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Saturday, 19 December 2009

image for Theresa Rogers drops 'Tiger cub' lawsuit - Tiger infertile
'Baby ETW' - is Farrakhan the father?

'Tiger babe' Theresa Rogers has been forced to drop her claim against Tiger Woods for support of her child, which she believed Tiger to have fathered. Tiger, it turns out, is infertile and could not have made her pregnant.

Senior Spoof Writer Abel earlier reported that celebrity lawyer Cindy Cinnabar would be representing Rogers in her multi-million-dollar action against Woods.

Cinnabar was disappointed at the news of Tiger's infertility.

'We had a really good case, until this happened', Cinnabar said. 'We had dress stains, full-color high-quality videos, phone recordings, text messages, everything.'

Asked who the actual father of the child, six-year-old 'ETW' might be, she said, 'I don't know. But the child is biracial, so that narrows things down a bit. Maybe Louis Farrakhan.'

Rogers is the second 'Tiger babe' to have her hopes dashed by the discovery of Tiger's infertility.

Rachel Uchitel reported being 'enraged' at the news, saying that she 'worked really hard to get knocked up' by Tiger.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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