Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Tiger Woods

Friday, 18 December 2009

image for Tiger counter-sues 'tarnished trophy wife'
Gleam's gone: maybe Elin forgot about polishing Tiger's gongs

Orlando, Fla - (Bonkers): Golf legend Tiger Woods is counter-suing wife Elin in a divorce petition accusing her of tarnishing his reputation.

"Ain't a ho alive would've treated my client so shabbily," attorney-at-law Randy F Buckskin commented today.

"Mr Woods has been dragged into a sordid accusations freakshow. Dozens of his many admirers have testified as to his lovin, carin nature. His only mistake appears to be marrying this ungrateful foreign woman," Buckskin added.

"No wonder he sought solace from the torment of his marriage bed."

The petition cites countless acts of mindless estrangement that Mrs Woods is accused of committing, 'like not buffin up his gongs.'

"She promised to Love, Honor & Cherish," the lawyer continued.

"Now as all folks full well know that word cherish means an oral intimacy that's every husband nuptial right.

"Call it fellatio if you like!

"Some women think withdrawal of cherishment comes with the wedding band. Sadly this can destroy athletes' insides."

Cherishment expert witnesses like Joslyn James, Holly Sampson and Cori Rist are expected to testify in the 2010 divorce lawsuit.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.




Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 4?

9 19 4 12
61 readers are online right now!

Go to top