Washington DC - In an effort to lessen strain on Christmas shoppers the Federal Government has cut the last two days from the popular '12 Days of Christmas' song.
Holiday Czar Hughby Uugli made the decision after finding out just how much all the gifts would cost.
'Holy crap, all that junk would set you back more than $21,000 dollars! We want the American public to know that we care! We saved the public a total of $4,760.00 by removing the Pipers and the Drummers!' said Uugli in this exclusive interview.
Reports from the Office of Stupid Expenditures show that to remove the 2 last days from the song cost the US taxpayers approximately $247,000,000.
'That was money well spent. It saves the people the added expenses of the holidays. We can't really say 'Christmas' here since it might offend someone and we can't have that', said a nervous anonymous staff member in the office.