California - (Canny Linguist): Ten days media saturation of Tiger Woods shagging filth has proved too much for crusading tv proselytizer Oral Roberts.
He dropped dead during a news broadcast about a lurid sex act between Tiger Woods and Orlando funraiser Julie Postle.
The beautiful blonde 22 year-old's had earlier been described by the media as the ultimate cure for penile dysfunction.
Roberts was 91.
From his Newport home today the preacher's son Reverend Richard Roberts told the press:
"Pa was modern-day apostle (sic) of the healing ministry."
Roberts was given his unusual name after his mother learned that babies conceived using the withdrawal method were often christened Justin.
An old wives tale at the time claimed it was impossible to fall pregnant from fellatio.