Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 13 December 2009

image for Loredana Jolie: Tiger balm soothed my throbbin fanny!
Loredana reckons Tiger's pheromones are better than female viagra

New York - (Reuterus): The stunning Sicilian Playtoy centerfold and Tiger Woods' favorite ho revealed the secrets behind her devastating allure today.

"Buttock implants. Lashings of lipgloss. Anal nitrate and a damn good hosedown!"

The 21 year-old porn star described her awesome golfing lover as the only man who could fill a ten gallon hat without ever putting it on his head.

"Man, when Tiger comes it's like the fountain of youth - the famous Trevi - spoutin skywards!

"Some folks throw golden coins in the waters. Tiger showered me with diamond earrings, expensive watches, platinum nipple-rings.

"Kinda soothed a deep-seated ache somewhere inside my pelvic girdle."

Jolie's famous three-in-a-waterbed antics with the golfer have inspired wannabe actresses the world over.

Her website today called for Woods' pheromones to patented as an alternative to female viagra.

"There isn't a woman in the world who wouldn't get turned on," Joile sighed.

"Exceptin perhaps Elin. And her Mom Barbaro. And her twin sister Josefin. And that bitter pancake house ho Mindy Lawton!"

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