Written by Quentin Shires
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Topics: Jesus

Saturday, 12 December 2009

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Jesus was seen tipping at least 20%

JUPITER, FL- Jesus Christ was reported tipping 20 percent or more on a recent visit to a local neighborhood restaurant.

Jesus was seen dining at Le Metro Neighborhood Bistro in Jupiter, Florida, Friday evening, at around eight o'clock. "This is such a great restaurant," Jesus said in an interview Friday night, "It's really nice to just get out and relax over a wonderful dinner from time to time."

Jesus started off his meal ordering an appetizer of Coquilles Saint Jacques, which consists of Jumbo Sea Scallops, spinach, mushroom duxelle, and Tarragon Veloute' Sauce. "It was really great," Jesus replied after eating the appetizer. "Really fresh and moderately priced."

Sally Robertson, head server at the restaurant, was fortunate enough to serve Mr. Christ during his visit. "It is such an honor serving someone so famous and well-known," she replied during her short break at nine o'clock. "I hope he tips well!"

When offered a glass of wine as an aperitif, Mr. Christ declined and asked for a luke-warm glass of water. Mr. Christ was later seen turning the water into a glass of 1797 Chateau Lafite, which is known around France as a $160,000 bottle of wine.

"Yep, that is definitely going to hurt my tip," Robertson said after spotting the miracle. So far he has only ordered a $10.95 appetizer and a glass of water,"

Christ was able to perform other miracles throughout the night, and appeared unhappy with the Catch of the Day. "Tonight, they are offering the Pan Seared Snapper as a special, and I don't really care for snapper." Christ then clicked his fingers and a miraculous fresh serving of Swordfish appeared in front of him. Christ then just ordered the sautéed vegetables to go with his fish.

Robertson reported that Christ's bill amounted to a total of $13.95, with which he left a $4.00 tip, which is way over the expected twenty percent gratuity usually received. "I think Christians should set an example of people that are generous," Christ said, putting away his tip calculator, "As Christians, if we can't afford to tip well, then we really can't afford to eat out."

Christ stated that he enjoyed his dining experience at Le Metro and recommends it to other Christians who may want a relatively inexpensive fine dining experience. "The food is great, fresh, and well presented," he said as he walked to the door, "and the wine…excellent!"

Quentin Shires

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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