Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Friday, 11 December 2009

Mr. T J McCorkle, president of a hunt club in Louisburg, NC announced today that their club and others from across the state had petitioned the state to allow them to hunt in Zoos and animal shelters.

North Carolina is one of the few states in the country that allow hunters to use dogs to hunt. On a typical day in hunting season the hunters let the dogs loose on someone else's property and then sit on the road in their pickup trucks with a six pack or two of beer, some snacks, and wait for the dogs to run the deer in front of them. If,perchance,that happens the hunters take aim and fire and woe to the vehicle that drives between them and the deer. There are many hunting related accidents on the trash laden roads.

Mr. McCorkle stated in his announcement that the deer had become scarce in recent years and when asked why the hunters didn't walk in the woods to hunt like other hunters around the country.

He replied, "You kidding? There is wild animals in them woods, chipmunks, squirrels, groundhogs,things that will bite you in a heartbeat. I'm gonna get me a big elephant gun from New York City, bag me an elephant at the zoo and hang the head up on my rec room wall right along cousin Ezra's' head, got him by accident one day when he was braying like a donkey in the woods. He did that mostly in the spring,never knew exactly why, didn't want to know to tell you the truth. Well, I shot him thinking he was a wild donkey and dropped him like a rock! Won't be no accidents like that when we can hunt in the zoos and animal shelters. Bubba Dinkins says he's gonna get a tiger just like them big game hunters in Africa do, tie the tiger to a tree and BAM, he got hisself a trophy!"

A reporter asked Mr. McCorkle what they were going to do with the hunting dogs. He replied, "Well, first we gotta get the permission from the state and find out about the beer and if we can throw the trash on the ground like we do now. If everything is OK, we'll shoot the dogs or drop them on the highway so some of them do gooders can pick them up and take care of them. Dogs don't do nothing but eat anyway."

At the end of the press conference, Mr. McCorkle and a dozen of his club members danced around in circles shooting their weapons in the air and shouting, "God is Great!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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