Los Angeles - (Labia Babes): "He's so high-octane they even used the 'Put A Tiger In Your Tank' jingle to sell gasoline to the Brits," Hollywood madam Michelle Braun said of her top client Tiger Woods.
And Braun should know, she's catered to the very best of them:
"Yeah, Mickey Rourke, Charlie Sheen, Jose Canseco, Courtney Love... great lovers, brilliant clients and treasured friends!"
Today Braun added Tiger Woods' name to her stunning tally of prized customers.
"Tiger was one of ma best boys," Michelle explained.
"Ma girls went wild for the man, always thinkin up new ways to wear him out, suck him dry, pander to his every horny need.
"Now I wish I'd joined them on that kingsize waterbed at the secret Bel Air condo!"
Last May Braun was arraigned by an FBI vice sting after a 15 year run that made her nearly $10 million from celebrity bookings.
Alleged clients were said to include Backstreet Boys manager Jeff Kwatinetz, The Firm's Kelly Clarkson, Turkish cellphone mogul Hakan Uzan, noted hedge fund manager Mark Yagalla and mortgagebroking multimillionaire Michael Fanghella.
"She sure kept quiet about the Tiger business!" Florida private investigators commented.
"Wonder who was pullin her strings on that one?"