Written by Rebut
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Topics: Prison, kansas

Friday, 3 September 2004

image for Kansas Cannibal Gets Life
Remains of last inmate to use Kansas Prison Library

Triple murderer and cannibal Marc V Sappington was sentenced to life in prison on Thursday. The judge said that the 25 year old Sappington will only be eligible for parole in 75 years, so mark the date on your calender accordingly.

At his trial Sappington told jurors that the voices in his head said he had to eat fleash and blood to live. Seems normal enough, obviously these jurors don't have teenage children of their own. Makes you wonder how well the defense team did on jury selection.

I have three teenage children and I'm armed whenever we meet. It makes it so much easier for everyone to understand that when they get voices in their heads I have my cousins Smith & Wesson with me. That way nobody makes any moves that might be regretted later.

Sappington cut up the body of his youngest victim Alton 'Fred' Brown 16 and ate a small amount and was going to freeze the rest. The Kansas court was up in arms about this but I think we must consider freezing as the only suitable way to keep it fresh.

As a specialist criminal attorney I found this next item classic - The defense attorney, "Patricia Aylward Kalb said her client was mentally ill when he killed but is now taking medication". Well there you go then. Another 74 years 364 days to go and Marc will be a credit to society.

The Judge J.Dexter Burdette told Sappington that he was the closest thing to a homicide time bomb that you could get. I'm sure Sappington is counting the days to parole so that he can go and eat that judge. Of course the voices in his head when that happens, might really be the worms crawling in his ears.

The prisoners at the Kansas jail are going to be thrilled to hear Sappingtons on his way. One week in he'll be serving supper when the head chef asks him what happened to Hutchinson. "It was the voices in my head chef, I couldn't help it..." Tough bastards in prison ..."Of shut up and take your medication....."

What about Sappington as the librarian? Head warden to subordinate : "Call me a prat but I've noticed that no prisoner who goes into the library for a book ever comes out. Is there some way of escaping through the library? And another thing could you get Sappington to clean up all those bones on the floor, it's starting to look unsightly!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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