Written by Rebut
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Topics: Army, Fashion

Thursday, 2 September 2004

image for Michael Moore Collection
Very unfortunate incident with the yoghurt...

Michael Moore fresh from his sensational appearence at the Republican Convention held at Madison Square Gardens has decided to enter the world of fashion. Moore stunned the party faithful by making his grand entrance wearing a green Army & Navy Surplus Tent with wrap around belt.

Moore has targeted the field of colognes, deoderants and aftershaves as the main thrust of his campaign. Right in the forefront will be his new line of "Michael Moore de Toilet Seat" deoderant, which comes in roll on or arsehole spray.

What about your morning shower, why not try the "Michael Moore Yves St La Soap on a Rope" line. It comes complete with complimentary towel and pictures of Michael feeding at a trough during the recent filming of Farenheit 9/11.

Then there is the robust 'Paco Rabanned' aftershave(most States and International governments have refused to allow it within their borders). Users are requested to have their skin tested for sensitivity prior to application. Best pour gasoline on your arm and light it for comparitive study.

In all the colognes and deoderants despite the exciting innovations referred to above, have received a mixed reception. In Europe for example, wearers are required to wear the tag normally reserved for paedophiles and other criminals.

Along with the collection Mr Moore has released a cd entitled "Michael Moore Sings The Blues (and sings it very badly ). It sees a number of deep tracks... on the arms of the householders who share homes with the buyers of this collection of Moore hits.

In the line of clothing there is the Michael Moore Open Necked Trousers Collection. These are apparently for men whose stomachs tend to hang over their pants. If they don't the chance of arrest is quite high apparently.

For women there is the "Michael Moore Pup Tent Skirt & Boob Tube Combination". Electro-Convulsive Therapy is optional but reccommended for wearers.

One of the exciting ranges on offer is the "Michael Moore Luminous Condoms". This is for your heavier individual who hasn't seen it in ages. Now he can switch off the light and stand in front of the mirror. Apparently it is also a religous item with users praying that nobody comes home and catches them with it on.

In the line of watches there's the sensational "Michael Moore Burger King Deep Sea Diving Watch". Apparently these are for heavier users who sink like a stone as soon as they leave the side of the boat.

Food-wise there is a hook-up between Moore and an American company to produce yoghurt. "Michael Moore Milk Paint Co. Yoghurt" has been accused of tasting like paint. Nothing could be further than the truth and if she complains, Michael suggests you tell the the woman in your life to put on another coat.

Today the Michael Moore name suggests excellence, innovation and stability. Make sure that the next time you buy your family a product that it carries the Michael Moore badge of quality.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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