Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Iran, Pentagon

Thursday, 2 September 2004

image for Pentagon spy arrested at Israeli embassy

The Wailing Wall, Thursday (Rioters) - The Pentagon as announced that a high-ranking Iran specialist has been arrested at the Israeli embassy in Tel Aviv and charged with espionage.

In a series of dawn raids, officials reporting to US Secretary of State Colon Bowel are said to have raided the home of an unnamed individual who works in the embassy which the Israeli people had installed in their own capital to keep an eye on Ariel Sharon's government following sub-contracting problems related to his "Berlin 2" razor wire wall surrounding the Occupied Territories.

Known in diplomatic circles as something of an anomaly, the embassy also acts as a representative office for the US steel industry which has been up in arms for a number of years after President Bush imposed punitative export tariffs on razor wire related products which allegedly broke free trade agreements and resulted in the Sharon Wall having to be re-routed from the West Bank to Afghanistan.

Last night the Rioters News Agency learned that the unnamed alleged spy, widely believed to be a close relative of former UK newspaper tycoon and serial fraudster Robert Maxwell, had been caught with documents that plan an Iranian bid to host the 2012 Olympic Games in Tehran, in direct competition to Tony Blair's hopes of staging them in London on his 40th wedding anniversary at the proposed Cherie Blair Athletics Stadium on a site previously occupied by Buckingham Palace.

A spokesman for the Israeli Embassy in Tel Aviv was keeping tight-fisted last night: "We have nothing to say about Kevin Maxwell's plans to infiltrate the Ayatollahs' Olympic hopes or the sale of yellowcake uranium that would have made possible the powering of nuclear facilities to light up the sky for the ensuing sporting events."

Meanwhile US Counter-Intelligence Officers working for FBI Special Operations chief Dave "Shady Dave" Szady have refused to admit or deny that the yellowcake uranium had been originally mined at an undisclosed government facility in the region of Crawford, Texas and given to Ahmed Chalabi in exchange for an up to date list of all expatriate Republican swing voters in Northern Iraq who may have missed Dick Cheney's television address at the Republican Party Convention in New York City last night.

Colon Bowel is said to be livid.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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