Conservatives are incensed at President Obama (yeah, yeah, I know- what else is new) for his stance on improving education. The US has been lagging at an embarrassing 26th place behind other developed and undeveloped nations. He has sworn to shorten that gap.
"This is an outrage!" stormed Republican Representative Gunter Seigheil. "People should be allowed their ignorance. It is an American right!"
"There he goes gittin' uppity agin." stated Senator Brownshirt, as you already guessed- a Republican. "Hows we ever gonna git people to do as we says they should do if theys edukated? They get dam fool ideers and do things theys own way. Theys starts reedin books and thinkin and other subersive stuff."
Feelings run so strong on this that the Republican Party has already diverted secret funds to the Fox News gang to beat the thing to death on the airwaves. Already they have come up with such topics as these to spew venom about: 'Schools- the germ of socialism already festering in America', 'Philosophy- a dangerous cancer unleashed at Universities everywhere', 'Books- isn't the Bible alone good enough for everyone?' and 'Conformity- doing things the right way or else'.
Furious paper patriots are meeting tonight outside Fox studios for a book burning. They will start with the whole series of Dick and Jane books because, as Senator Brownshirt says "Thems kids don't need no fancy pantsy reedin' until theys in High School. Then theys needs just enough to reeds theys Diploma."