Written by Bureau
Print this
Topics: Tiger Woods

Sunday, 6 December 2009

image for Tiger Woods Agrees To "Pork, The Other White Meat" Commercial Package
"Mmmmm Pork!"

At a conference in Panama City today, three white waitresses at a noted nightclub have came forward to say that they have never had sex with Tiger Woods and would like to be crossed off the list.

That's the third Florida city where white women have came openly to the press to admit such a fact. Several others are set up to be announced tomorrow and now it may spread to other states as CNN is hinting at one in Atlanta Wednesday morning.

Still, women have began to wear veils all across the south and ducking television news camera, even when they're covering a fire.

Meanwhile, the black community, even Jesse Jackson, seems to be avoiding this one.

"I know I joked about Tiger saying he wasn't black during my routine several years ago", stated one black stand-up comic. "I said he had just got his first threat in the mail after a major tournament win. So I said, "He knows he's black now! That was funny then, but maybe not so much now."

Tiger reportedly is meeting with representatives of Nike tomorrow to see if he's still their rep and has already signed to do the commercials for the Porkers of America group.

Look for Woods in his first "Pork, The Other White Meat", in February.

Make Bureau's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 3?

8 7 16 15
129 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more