Written by Bureau
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Topics: Tiger Woods

Sunday, 6 December 2009

image for Tiger Woods Agrees To "Pork, The Other White Meat" Commercial Package
"Mmmmm Pork!"

At a conference in Panama City today, three white waitresses at a noted nightclub have came forward to say that they have never had sex with Tiger Woods and would like to be crossed off the list.

That's the third Florida city where white women have came openly to the press to admit such a fact. Several others are set up to be announced tomorrow and now it may spread to other states as CNN is hinting at one in Atlanta Wednesday morning.

Still, women have began to wear veils all across the south and ducking television news camera, even when they're covering a fire.

Meanwhile, the black community, even Jesse Jackson, seems to be avoiding this one.

"I know I joked about Tiger saying he wasn't black during my routine several years ago", stated one black stand-up comic. "I said he had just got his first threat in the mail after a major tournament win. So I said, "He knows he's black now! That was funny then, but maybe not so much now."

Tiger reportedly is meeting with representatives of Nike tomorrow to see if he's still their rep and has already signed to do the commercials for the Porkers of America group.

Look for Woods in his first "Pork, The Other White Meat", in February.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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