Michael Moore attended the Republican Convention at Madison Square Gardens last night. Sporting his brand new lobotomy scar, the polemicist was bent on thumbing his nose at the party faithful. And what a dashing figure he cut, in an Army & Navy Surplus tent tailored by Master Sergeant Christian Wherethe F's Thedoor.
Fashion commentators were left speechless by the man in army green but paleaontologists said that the fact that the continent could handle so much weight, was proof positive of the existence of Pangea.
Dr Reinhard Unterhalter : "Ja Pangea vos alvays saught to haf exisisted but ze weight on ze Earth's crust vos problematic. Haffink zeen de appirition in der tent must change our sinking".
Ms Edwina Charlton was another who felt that Moore was over maligned. The Republican chairperson of pro-abortion she explained : "If ever there is a living example that a foetus should have been aborted, and in this case cremated to be sure, then Michael Moore is it."
Nurse Jane Thornton was on hand to tell us of the day that Moore was born. "His father rushed into the surgery and grabbed the afterbirth. He expressed great love for the mass and promised it the world. Picture then how shattered he was when the staff removed the afterbirth and gave him his son. Apparently he never recovered from the incident".
As the Convention began chanting '4 more years' a figure which everyone had assumed was the building next door, emerged to produce "Two more months". Obviously many assumed that this hideous woman was 2 months from giving birth and offered their congratulations.
Then the awful truth dawned on the party faithful, this was in fact that genius who had created the factual documentary Farenheit 9/11 but had to change it into polemic because of it's preponderance of inaccuracies. Of course Moore had forgotten to mention this oversight when he peddled it.
But let us give Moore credit where it is due. He stands for the poor oppressed, while living in a New York palatial apartment. He believes President Bush must go because he lied to the American people but fails to say where he is headed for the same sin, just committed more often.
It would be far more appropriate if Mr Moore were to convert that fortune that he despises so much into food and deliver it to the poor people of the world. Try to live in a way that is in accordance with what he preaches and away from everything he allegedly despises.
But not all is anti-Moore, the thing I really like most about Michael Moore is