Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Thursday, 3 December 2009

image for Al Gore Cancels Plans For $1200.00 'Dick-Shake' Event In Copenhagen
An Inconvenient Translation

Copenhagen, Denmark-- A very embarrassed Al Gore cancelled his plans for charging $1200.00 for a handshake at the upcoming Climate Change Summit in Copenhagen.

The former Veep was hoping to charge eager Danes $1200.00 each, just for the chance to shake his fat, sweaty hand. Over 10,000 eager Danes already paid in advance for the opportunity. Unfortunately, there was a translation problem. A 'hand-shake' in Danish is a slang term for masturbation. The eager Danes were expecting a hand-job.

"It's just a very, very embarrassing." said event coordinator Hagen Dazz in Copenhagen. "Situations like these often arise between different languages and cultures. No one is really to blame. A hand-shake is something polite people don't talk in public over here." he said.

Ticket holder Har Onem was very disappointed with the cancellation.

"I was looking forward to the hand-job from Al Gore. I bet he does it real smooth. He has nice sweaty hands, and to be jerked-off by a former US Vice-President would be very exciting. Oh well, maybe I can talk my wife into it." said Mr. Onem.

The fat, sweaty Al Gore was said to be resting in his Tennessee mansion and is not taking any calls from the press. An Algore spokesman said the former Veep was "experimenting with hand lotions and polishing his knob."

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