George W. Bush is not a president to beat around the bush. As soon as he realised that something was not quite as it should be in Iraq, he stepped up to the microphone and conceded his error.
"My fellow Americans I have been watching Oprah this afternoon and have been moved...by the White House cleaning staff to another room...wait! I have a point...yes!!...it was that her guests were angry about their letters not reaching loved ones in Iraq".
"I too have had the exact same problem. Recently I sent a short intimate note to the Iraqi government. My secretary Lisa made sure she had sufficient stamps before popping down to the post box on the corner."
"Of course we Allawi'd a few days for any postal strikes or the like but this was weeks and weeks ago....Hell, we won the war quicker'n it takes 'em to deliver a letter!!"
"Now Lisa tells me that the Postmaster General has been advising US Postal customers to be wary of 'Swift Mail', which for reasons best known to them are arriving in Cambodia just before Christmas".
"I have advised the Iraqi government as well as those dealing with elections here that no postal voting will be used until these glitches are sorted out. I am going to stamp this out fast".
"It is indeed a Sadr day when I have to admit that Post War Iraq is less than it should be, even Allawi for the problems that we have experienced. It is imperitive that we introduce a Sistani that works so that loved ones can get their post through to the people in Iraq".
"Perhaps we should spare a thought for prime minister Blair who has his own problems with all things Post. In order to get to Iraq a letter would need to overcome a strike, followed by a pre-sending-empty-contents-strike, then all the rest of the steps which slow the mail down".
"We requested the intelligence agencies to investigate the problem. So far I can tell you that the problem is not down to Uranium in Niger but little else. I think the basic tenet here is that we lack real leadership in our intelligence agencies...oh and if you think that's bad..I missed out on Burger Kings free Pokemon set with collectors album which I was eligible for if they received 5 Burger King Stickers one of which is received with every purchase. There's hupsweet chance that got through.."
"Iraq has meant many things to many people. We have all sacrificed in the interests of the war on terror. Had I known however, how rough the Post War would be I seriously doubt I would ever have gone to war."