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Topics: Breasts, Arkansas

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

image for New Arkansas Driver's License To Include Cup Size and Breast Measurement
A sixteen year old gets herself measured for her new license in Springdale

Beginning in January of 2010, all driver's licenses issued in the state of Arkansas will include women's breast measurements and cup sizes. These may be updated on licenses free of charge at any motor vehicle department location for any females experiencing growth, reduction surgery, or implants.

When asked why they were including cup sizes and breast measurement information on the license, Motor Vehicle Department spokesman Ed Earl Bates said "well, ya see, it's fer safety concerns and such. Number one, we don't want no young girls with flat titties trying to use thier big sister's ID. One look an we can tell if they're lying. One squeeze will verify whether or not they are using padding in their lying."

Wanda Jane Beaumont, the only women's rights advocate in the state, disagreed. "This is just being done so the perverts at the DMV can ogle breasts and squeeze breasts and get cup sizes and take pictures and get away with it. This isn't for any sort of safety and protection."

"She's wrong," responded Bates. "You all know that titty size has nothing to do with protection...that's what condoms are for. Besides, the only reason that she's a woman's advocate is cuz she was too ugly to get laid and she learned herself to read cuz she was never barefoot and pregnant at fifteen."

The Arkansas State Supreme Court has put off ruling on the legality of the new procudure until next month as "it's deer season right now and most of us are trying to get us a couple of bucks."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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