Three different prisons have reported major riots during the night after President Barack Obama bumped The Charlie Brown Christmas Special Tuesday night.
Up to nine others reported burned mattresses, stopped up commodes with running water across the floors and loud screams.
"We've never seen anything like it", stated a guard at the Eddieville Prison in western Kentucky. "They went completely berzerk! I'm glad they never made it to the yard or they may have gotten out with so many of them."
Over 90% of U.S. prisons said that, along with their yearly letter to 'Santy Claws' their inmates are planning to write a letter to the President.
"We'll check them first to be sure there are no threats", stated one warden. "We beep those by blacking out words but only the President's name is getting through in some of them. I hope he realizes he'll get few re-election votes here."
Meanwhile, on his broadcast today, Rush Limbaugh is encouraging his follower's to have their kids write to the president and ask him "Why he killed Santa Claus!"
On the other hand, President Obama will join Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid to sing some Santa Claus songs before the Charlie Brown Special comes on next week as CBS hurriedly tried to protect the President.
All the songs are written by Bruce Springsteen and Neil Young, including "Oh Little Town In Hawaii" and "Silent Barack".