In a move that took his family and closest friends by surprise Dick Cheney has announced that he has joined the army to fight in Afghanistan. Releasing pictures taken of him at Ft. Bragg, in NC, Mr. Cheney is seen in full battle gear with a AK-47, a blackened face, a full bandolier of ammunition, and a large Bowie knife he says was given to him by his wife Lynne, from her collection.
Cheney says he is going to war in order "to get the job done." Asked about his five deferments during the Viet Nam war, he said, "That was then, this is now. I had higher priorities then, my priority now is to win this war. I am going to capture and kill Bin Laden if I have to chase him to the gates of hell! I will scalp him with Lynne's knife, bring it back to the White House and lay it on the desk of The Ditherer in Chief!"
A report out of Fox News says that they are planning a documentary of the former Vice President to be aired soon, titled: An American Warrior - A Man For The Times.
Mr. Cheney was last seen exiting a military aircraft in Kabul wearing a Burka and surrounded by fifty fully armed Blackwater contractors and five combat helicopters flying overhead.