United States Vice President Joe Biden completed his annual physical over the weekend at Walter Reed. In addition to the usual procedures and prostate exam, he also requested that the doctors and medical technicians perform a mammogram on his man boobs.
"I've got a history of breast cancer in my family," said Biden. "I'm getting a little older now and don't want to take any chances. My health is important to me...and I don't think that this country wants Nancy Pelosi or Hillary Clinton being the person who is only a heartbeat away from the presidency."
Biden did admit that the procedure was somewhat painful, but said that "it was probably less embarrasing having my tits mashed than it was to have stuff shoved up my ass in the prostate exam or have a guy put his hand in my crotch and tell me to cough when they checked for a hernia."
All in all, Biden felt that "it was intrusive and I feel like I got sexually abused in several ways, but at least I didn't have to get anything strange shoved into my mouth."