United States Vice President Joe Biden admitted on Monday that his man boobs are actually breast implants. Biden said that the surgery was done last year by a Boston plastic surgeon before his abortive run for the Presidency.
Said Biden, "The implants were done for a number of reasons."
"First, I knew that Hillary would be taking a lot of the women's vote, so I wanted to find a way for the male voters to keep an eye on me. It obviously didn't work to well that way."
"Secondly, I am really a skinny old man and saw how all of the other old guys were starting to sag and droop when I was in the health clubs. If I wanted any respect, I knew that I had to be like them. Mine, however, are young and firm and perky."
"Third, I saw our last three Presidents and knew that they were the biggest boobs in the White House and I wanted to be like them."
"Fourth, my wife is getting old and frigid and I needed something new and bouncy to play with in the shower."
The Vice President also added that he has no plans at present to alter his appearance, even though they are still under warranty.
Michelle Obama has already expressed jealousy over Joe Biden's breasts and has called on him to get them removed. See related story here.