Written by Rebut
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Topics: Iraq, Hell

Friday, 27 August 2004

image for Kerry Declares War
When I heard they were in Chile I nearly wet my cave...

With the fierce debate between the Swifts versus Iraq issues raging, the question being asked is whether they are as relevant as some would have us believe? Hell yes!! In 2005 WW III will begin and based on past brilliance this is what we can expect.


- Santiago The American 101st Airborne Division, the Screaming Eagles parachuted into Santiago early this morning. Ahead of them the bulk of the Chilean capital was laid waste by missles fired from destroyers grouped offshore.

Four US Aircraft Carriers have moved into range 100 kilometres of the Chilean coast. This was President Kerry's response to developments earlier in the day. Peter Jones in Moscow has more.

"Thank you John, well as most of you are now aware, in the early hours of this morning China attacked Russia on two fronts. They used Urumqi and Harbin as launching points and crossed into Russia bipassing Mongolia.

The attack consisted of 2 Rifle Divisions, a mechanised division, 3 motorised divisions, unknown but significant amount of tanks, 400-500 attack fighters with many more divisions massing on the border.

If I may John, do we know why the President attacked Chile in response to this unprovoked attack on Russia?"

Peter, to be honest, like you I am in the dark but I believe we are crossing now to the Whitehouse live. Whitehouse spokesman Don Goodman is speaking to reporters live ......

"....and apparently the President wanted to react Swiftly. Accordingly the American government hereby confirms that it will pay to the Chilean people full reparations for this unsolicited attack. President Kerry wants to reassure all countries that this will never happen again. He confirms that while mistaking Chile for China could happen to anyone it was irresponsible even Jane Fonda said so!!

The President further wants to reassure Russia that as soon as he can turn his Pacific Fleet, now deployed in Chile, around and his European forces now sailing and winging there way to South America, back towards Asia, he will do so. Apparently many of the United States motorized units are pouring into Cambodia for some unknown reason.....Questions?

Maureen Dowd, New York Times are you saying we have troops all over Iraq, Chile and Cambodia but nothing left to fight in Asia or Europe?


Robert Novak Chicago Sun Times : We have 4 Aircraft Carriers deployed in Chile?

We have 4 there and 2 on the way. We could flatten Chile in a second...sorry bad joke.

Richard Cohen, Washington Post : Have the Cambodians contacted us as yet?

I have a short note from the Cambodian Government : Dear Sirs, please, we told you last time, we don't know this man. He wasn't here in 68, 78 or any other year ending in an 8. Don't you think we would remember fast boats invading us?

Lets go back to John Hammond in Santiago".

Thank you Don. In news just in General Pinochet has sent us an email which says that he is sure that the Chilean Supreme Court will not give President Kerry immunity....seems everyone's a card today. Let's give Peter Jones in Moscow the last word on Day 1 of WWIII.

"Moscow is burning, Chinese hordes pour into the Motherland, yet all Premier Vladimir Putin can think about is how much he'd love to give a certain American President a Swift kick in the goolies - Peter Jones CNN, Moscow".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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