It could be sad Christmas for everyone, that is if an agreement can't be reached between the elves and Santa In a document filed yesterday by the UmPa Lumpa Guild it was stated that "the little fella's have been without adequate health coverage for too long".
In response Santa said, "I've given those little pr***s everything they ever asked for and this is how they repay me. I have half a notion to take a sleigh full up to about 10,000 feet and do some negotating, if you know what I mean. They don't respect what I do in just one night. If they had to ride behind all those reindeer moving at the speed of light they'd have abette appreciation of my job. And what do they think happens to me when one in the herd has to relieve itself. Let them try to dodge a reindeer turd traveling at light speed".
Santa continued, "I'll give in this time and give them what there asking for. But this is the last time. Next year I'll go by Home Depot and find some real help".