Written by Rebut
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Topics: New Jersey, Jersey

Tuesday, 24 August 2004

image for McGreevey Tackles Golan Heights
"Tell me about it I just settled a case recently.."

Golan Cipel's extortion demands from New Jersey govenor Jim McGreevey were backed by threats to release embaressing tapes and photos of him. The FBI who want to question the parties concerned could be issuing Federal subpoenas as early as next week.

Cipel's attorney Allen Lowy denies that any extortion or threats had been made. They had contemplated filing suit followed by settlement negotiations according to Lowy.

Of course we can only speculate on the suit but perhaps it goes something along the following lines :


PARTICULARS OF CLAIM

Plaintiff shall mean Golan Cipel, a straight Isreali currently residing on a boat (not Swift but thanks for asking)

Defendant shall mean Jim McGreevey about to be an ex-governer, male, currently residing (but not for long) with his wife and children.

1. In and during 2003 the parties met at a cafe known as Faygelas. One thing led to another and the two moved the party to a hotel room/sound studio owned by the Plaintiff's friend (who has tapes and dvds of the entire "process".

2. After the parties had concluded they lay back for some pillow talk. What bad luck that the governor should have passed the entire security secrets of the USA.

3. There are many many examples of encounters along the same lines, the bulk of which take the defendant's treason to new and let's be honest disgusting heights. This stuff has it all : The Meat and the McGreevey.

4. The plaintiff is confronted by a dilemma. Does he accidently serve this on the spouse by accident or is the govenor's office perhaps the costlier mistake to start with?

5. As evidence of the defendant's conduct we annex hereto as "A" the tapes (1 to 75), "B" the dvds, "C" the text messages including THAT one , "D" photos including the GEMINI set, I reiterate the GEMINI set.

6. I record herewith that my clients have never seen a courtroom in their lives. I couldn't draw particulars of claim if Clarrence Darrow was dictating them BUT they're all stinking rich people today.

7.Plaintiff's hopeless attorney HIGHLY reccommends defendant explain the annexures in 5 above to his attorney. It saves so much time.


As the defendant receiving those "draft" particulars, McGreevey would have moved swiftly to resign and conveniently forgotten to mention the extortion et al.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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