It was announced today that former CNN talkshow host, Lou Dobbs has taken on a new job.
"I'm stoked about this oppurtunity to serve America", said Dobbs in a radio interview this morning. Mr. Dobbs was reluctant to divulge details, until pressed by his interviewer.
The details seem to revolve around A Hispanic Explorer Gang that continues to breach our borders.
"I have my suspicions about their motives, but just let me say, their intrusions are predicated on the premise that they are "looking" for something. They are looking for something alright, Our Jobs", snarled Dobbs. Dobbs went on to say, "There's something sinister about this "gang", they seem to always find their way out of a jam, by using a secret map that they keep in a backpack. They travel with a "dog" or "wolf" or something along those lines, they call it "stealer", "swiped" or something like that".
And then Mr. Dobbs announced that "I can't say anymore because I don't want to give this dasterdly group any more advantages than we've already given them".
In closing Dobbs stated, "America can rest east knowing that I won't stop until I track this bunch down and send them back over the border where they belong".