Written by Evan Essence
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Topics: Money, California

Tuesday, 24 August 2004

image for Reagan's Image to be Placed on Promissory Note

The First Bank of California has decided to honor the memory of the late president Ronald Reagan, by placing his image on a promissory note. A promissory note is an unconditional promise in writing to repay a sum of money. The president of the California lending institution, Roger Shark, said they were honoring Reagan, because he had done so much to popularize the finance industry.

"Many people consider Reagan to be the greatest president since Herbert Hoover", said Shark.

In his first campaign for office, Reagan promised to work for a balanced budget, but ended up running up a huge deficit, without ever submitting a balanced budget proposal. In his campaign for reelection, he, again, campaigned for a balanced budget, but, when re-elected, again failed to propose a balanced budget.

"Before Ronald Reagan's term in the White House, a ‘fiscal conservative' was someone who believed in less federal spending, a smaller government, a balanced budget, and paying down the national debt. This was very bad for the business of bond dealers and money lenders " Shark stated.

"Reagan promised that, if the country ‘stayed the course' of supply-side economics, the economy would improve, and revenues would increase so much, there would no longer be a deficit.

"When he left office, his legacy was a quadrupling of the national debt....somewhat short of actually balancing the budget."

Finance experts credit Reagan with making people feel good about buying on credit.

It was his charm and warm wit which endeared many to the idea that it was ok to be a "fiscal conservative", and at the same time, make large purchases on credit. Americans followed the lead of this lovable father-figure in the White House, and both Democrats and Republicans, alike, started charging thousands of dollars on credit cards, much to the delight of lending institutions.

"Reagan was the first ‘Credit Card President', and forever changed the definition of ‘fiscal conservative'. No longer do fiscal conservatives call for a balanced budget No longer do they seek a smaller government. No longer does anyone worry about how our children and granchildren will pay off the debt. When it comes to pork....Its just too much fun putting it all on a credit card.," Shark said.

George W. Bush...the second credit card president...ran for office on the theme "If at first time you don't succeed, try, try again."

"Bush has single-handedly run up the largest deficit in history, drastically increased the number of federal employees, and dramatically increased federal spending. All with the the blessings and gratitude of ‘fiscal conservatives'. With no Democrats in control of congess to blame, nobody cares." Shark added.

The theme of George Bush's 2004 re-election campaign is...."Third time's a charm!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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