Senator Bargis Tryhol of Newark NJ announced today that he intends to run in the next Presidential Election Campaign in opposition to Sarah Palin, and incumbent President Barack Obama.
Having cleaned up the New Jersey Union racketeers and the NYC crooked cops, Tryhol has one eye firmly on the White House.
"Why not?" Tryhol told us. "I can offer this great nation of ours, truth, justice, equality, freedom, and the world's largest cock."
Tryhol, a controversial figure in US politics made his name by calling the Reverend Al Sharpton 'a prick' to his face, calling Oprah a 'lardass' and criticizing Barack Obama for being a 'complete and utterly corrupt Chicago based gangsta asshole.'
When we asked him how he would cope with the political might of Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska, Tryhol told us:
"I'd lay the girl on her back and do the Mamba on her cha-cha. She wouldn't be able to handle that. She'd just end up panting and begging for more. Like they all do."
We went on to ask how he'd deal with Obama? He told us:
"He's a sneaky fox, but I'd get to him via the back door. I'd show Michelle the old Diamondback Rattler and she'd be eating out of my hand. No problem. That'll be a piece of cake. The Obamas are like the Clintons - the women wear the pants in their households. The guys are wimps. When you're packin' what I'm packin' there's nothing unmountable. Or should I say unsurmountable?"
Bargis Tryhol intends to run for the United States Presidency on a 'Big Dick' ticket.
In related news, ex Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson has announced that she will be Tryhol's running mate. She told our reporter that Tryhol had tried to book her. At least it sounded like 'book.'
With a tip of the hat and a wink to Bargis Tryhol and Abel Rodriguez. Our top insiders.